Struggling with grief

My dear, sweet Grandma passed away and I am struggling to accept that she is really gone. I was prepared for it and knew it would happen any day. I thought it would not be as hard. I was wrong. That phone call hit me like a ton of bricks. So many emotions hit me at once. Grief, sorrow, regret for the time we won't get to spend together, and happiness knowing she is with the love of her life in Heaven.

No matter what, death is hard. I am one of the lucky few who got to say goodbye but it still does not make it easier. My last conversation with her still brings tears to my eyes. I had brought her a frame that had a poem about Grandmothers and the special place they have in our lives. As I was reading the poem to her, she stroked my hair and my cheek. I was visiting her to comfort her, yet somehow she comforted me. We spoke about my childhood and the many overnight stays I had with her. We talked about family and how my boys are growing so fast. She reminded me to cherish every moment with them.

Grandma, we really did have some good times together. You came to my spelling bees and award shows and charmed all of my friends with your accent and great stories. I enjoyed the time we spent gardening together and talking about life in general. You were always there for me.

Now, you are at peace with our Lord and Savior. You are with the love of your life and you are both smiling down on us.

I look at my boys and smile. I am one blessed woman and I want to make memories that will last a lifetime with them. It is okay to be sad and to have my moments but I want to cherish every moment because you never know what tomorrow might bring.